Jersey gets a facial

What? Did you all really think that I wasn't going to talk about this show? Don't you know me better than that? It's fall, which means the influx of good television will soon be running rampant amongst those of us lucky enough to subscribe to the likes of HBO, Showtime, NFLRedzone...etc. So let me start by saying this: Thank God for Martin Scorcese and Terence Winter.

Back in say February or so, a trailer was available on HBO's website that exclaimed the dawning of a Scorcese produced show, written by a Sopranos guy, and oozing with 1920s flare all over the place. Pan up on Steve Buscemi, the king of Indie Films, high falootin in a great suit, and Omar from The Wire fading to black. Excitement rang around offices, twitter pages, and text messages for months. And this past Sunday, it finally came to a head.

And boy am I excited.

The show takes place right at the beginnings of Prohibition, which also births the era of "Gangsterdom." Steve Buscemi takes on the role of Nucky Thompson, Atlantic City Treasurer and dirty scoundrel to boot. After reading an article in Vanity Fair that James Gandolfini was considered due to his more accurate stature in comparison to the Real Nucky Johnson, what a blessed day it is to know that they went with Buscemi (no hating on Tony Soprano though, but in reality...he IS Tony Soprano.)

There is this lingering feeling in the show even in it's infant stages. Watching two young drivers talk about "getting into the liquor business" while one introduces himself as Al Capone, is subtle yet furiously exciting. The violence is indicative of Soprano gold, which may be tough for some, but relieving for others. Scorcese certainly delivers with some stylistic directing and shooting, but fails with the show's opening sequence. --And I will defend the right to use contemporary music in period pieces (I.E. Inglorious Basterds) but here it fails.-- Watching the opening sequence for the first time at the height of your anticipation can turn it into anxiety, but the show redeems itself solely through the writing, directing, and sheer excitement (aka just suck it up for the first like minute and then be prepared for an awesome ride).

It certainly looks like many characters will be making their way through Jersey, with the likes of (as previously mentioned) Al Capone, Lucky Luciano, and others. But what makes the show extra special is Buscemi's character Nucky and his desire to play both sides. His job makes him want to be liked by his city, but his gangster ways make him desire money and power with no filter as to how to get it. He is a character that struggles with good and evil, which makes him, well, perfect.

If you paid attention in History class, then the anticipation of watching these stories unfold will elate you. It certainly has elated me, and I damn sure didn't pay attention in history class. But I know who Al Capone is. Thanks Real Deal Deli.

Thanks for reading. I am, the TV Enforcer.

True Disappointment...not True Blood

The season finale of True Blood was this past Sunday, and if you are similar to me (not in looks obviously that would be such a feat) you were highly disappointed. I spoke about True Blood here because of the pure entertainment value it beseeches. Because it doesn't try to be something it is not. Instead it takes the cake for all that is campy, sexy, dirty, and hilariously frightening. So then why Alan Ball, did you decide to completely dilute the final episode of Season three with absolute garbage?

Albeit, the plot lines of this season were somewhat weak, namely anything Jason was involved in: hatred for football heroes on V, love triangles with were-panthers and inbred family members, and the ultimate vie for Bon Temps sheriff glory, all while discrediting that he killed Eggs last season and was distraught about it for a combined..oh three episodes.

Or what about Sam Merlotte's unspeakably lame storyline about his real family? Did anyone really care that his mother was a poor broken shapeshifter, forced to live off pennies she made from her dog fighting days THEN bringing the tradition down to the younger son Tommy? I sure didn't. Were you as demystified by Jolie's alcoholic ways and abusively uninteresting villainous character as I was? You should be. I also didn't care for Tommy whatsoever. Initially I thought there was some spunk to him, but really he ended up just being a little bastard while simultaneously bringing out the same lame little bastard that was stewing in Sam all this time. No! Not a flashback to Sam as a bad guy? So he killed what looked like to me as a huge bitch. He also killed Marian, bigger bitch indeed. I guess the good thing about Tommy was that he brought Jessica and Hoyt back together. That storyline could be saved with Hoyt getting turned and then killing his mother. But whatever to that too, because if that girl drops her accent one more time, I'm gonna go on a tweet rampage. Watch out Babyvamp.

And what the hell was with Lafayette and Jesus? First off, Jesus is ugly. Second off, while I appreciate that Lafayette is still alive by the end of the third season (Spoiler Alert: he dies in the first book), I can be almost 100% sure that his character can be utilized in a much more productive way than some love story with a Brujo (that's spanish for witch, yes Jesus is "surprisingly" and "uncreatively" a witch).

So the most interesting parts of the season? Russell, OBVIOUSLY! His desire to get all up in Sookie's blood made me uneasy, his rant on live television was also grand. But that was it. He posed a threat and then the threat was fumigated. With cement, oh so non climatically. His revenge for the death of Talbot could have been better, although that scene was perfection. Because you were either worried that gay sex was going to happen right in front of your sheltered little eyes, OR that little twinky was gonna get it. And he got it, but with a Stake, not Eric's stake, which is probably FABULOUS.

Sookie is a fairy. Hooray. At least Ball can have some fun at his own expense, when Sookie learns of her true identity she says "I'm a fairy? That's fucking lame" Which it is, but is somewhat interesting for the next season, seeing as how she straight up disappeared into fairyland, leaving Bill behind, heartbroken and abandoned. Whatever his intentions have officially been revealed as impure and potentially evil. So he can't be trusted, at least until next season.

Oh and Tara decided to cut off her extensions, get a side part afro going, and bounce outta Bon Temps, considering that her entire sense of misery and depression revolves around the consistency of shitty luck at Merlotte's (thanks for that montage Alan, I totally forgot about the dead voodoo scam artist. They did however fail to mention Jason fucking some tart while on V and Tara catching it while still dreadfully in love with him; much more traumatizing than watching a rapist psycho vampire turn into blood and guts)

All and all the season could have been better and the season finale should have never aired. Lorena didn't last long enough, and Russell and Eric should have had a bigger fallout. The werewolves storyline completely died out, and they either finished things off to early or let really shitty storylines run their course as opposed to killing them off sooner. I am still a Truebie, but will put the last episode down officially, as the worst season finale...maybe episode...I have ever seen.

Thank you for reading. I am, the TV Enforcer.

Emmy's Red Carpet Rundown

Last night was the Emmy's! And I unfortunately did not watch much of it, Mad Men, Big Brother, True Blood....if the SHOWS are ON why would I watch clips of them? Congrats to Mad Men by the way but let's get serious. The outfits...a sight to see..and I shall indulge you of what I thought this year:

Lea Michele! Gorgeous Oscar De LaRenta Navy Gown! It was sexy, sophisticated, and whimsical all at the same time

Jane Lynch: Hated the colors hated the shape. Top was good. Bottom was a trash bag.

Edie Falco: Not flattering at all. If the dress was just a little more shapely,she would have looked DIVINE.

January Jones: OK. Some people thought that she was really stepping it up here, being edgy with this dress....no. I'm sorry, I just didn't see it, I couldn't find the "fashion forwardness" of this dress, anywhere. Perhaps it was the material, but I thought it made her look like a peacock drenched in blueberries.

Claire Danes: APPROVE!! Her slim figure screamed out in this dress and the glamour was just off the charts..my favorite dress of the night.

Kim Kardashian: Oh you greek goddess you! I don't think Kim K even KNOWS how to not dress well, so looking this good obviously wasn't too hard for her.

Eva Longoria Parker: Amazing! The rosettes are so chic, the silohuette just hugs her so perfectly, I love everything about this dress.

Tina Fey: Girl, you let me down. I'm not a fan of this it reminds me of sheer black and white underneath circa 1999.

Kate Gosselin: OK, a. where the hell are your children?!?! b. Somebody get me some smelling salts, I just passed out from Boredom.

Rutina Wesley: Yo tara!!! did you just wrap an Escher painting around you? It's weird to see True Blood's sassiest bartender off the braids and on the red carpet. The slit's too high, the hair's too big.

Sarah Hyland from Modern Family: I have watched this show only once (enjoyed it thoroughly) but that shouldn't change the fact that Sarah wore this dress to perfection! great job!

Angela Kinsey: Who'da thought that Angela from the Office could pull off some serious glamour!!! Amazing dress, loved the lace.

Stephanie Pratt: I don't know (really don't care) who you are, but what I do know is, you're at the Emmy's, therefore, you look like a whore. Someone get her PA and find the rest of that dress!

Christina Hendricks: I'm unsure about this Zac Posen dress, although I think the top is absolutely gorgeous! The bottom however, once those [feathers??] reach the bottom, it starts to look a little mangy. But her hair and those tatas were her saving grace.

Heidi Klum: Now THIS is a woman who can pull off an edgy mini. This Marchesa piece is FIERCE, but those shoes look like shards of glass!

Anna Paquin: I hate to say this because speaking so ill of the deceased can come back to haunt you, but this Alexander McQueen is god awful and I would suck the life out of Ms. Sookie Stackhouse TOO if she ever came round here wearin that mess.

Emily Blunt: Yawn, it washes her out, this color should be left for women of a dark tint perhaps. The jewels on the dress however are stunning.

Juliana Margulies: This "Good Wife" was having a "Bad Day" in the dress category.Bizarre. Just didn't like it.

Kelly Osbourne: She surprised me here! I thought the dress was fun and sexy and she wore it well! She also looks great and that hair is such an accomplishment from her pink hair'd chubby days.

Diana Agron: Probably one of the prettiest girls on TV she fails here with this Scarlett O'Hara like Carolina Herrera. It reminds me of corsets and there's just too much lace and crap going on, it's like she's trapped in a cage!

Elizabeth Moss: You GO Peggy!!! While having an AWESOME episode last night, along with a win for the show, she looked STUNNING in this one shoulder piece

Sophia Vergara: Her figure is really what made this dress. Otherwise, I think the jeweling and embellishments are off and so is the color. Good thing she's just so damn gorgeous.

Jayma Matys: She's adorably sprite in this navy Burberry gown! I love the ruching I love the fringe (for lack of a better term) and I love her hair and jewelry! What a transformation!

Kathy Griffin: I don't know WHAT was going on down at the bottom of her dress but I MUST say that she ROCKED it!

Lauren Graham: Mistake. Utter. Mistake.

Toni Collette: No NO NO! The bottom looks like she fell into a marsh.

Cheryl Hines: My favorite wife looked absolutely fabulous in this one shouldered piece.

Julia Louise Dreyfuss: Show's been cancelled, and apparently so has the middle of her dress. The sheer ruined it for me, gotta say.

Jenna Fischer: I loved this dress! It was so sexy on her, what a great color, and the geometric embellishments really made it a fun and elegant dress at the same time.

Jennifer Carpenter: I think Dexter got to this dress because it belongs in a body bag.

Mindy Kaling: She's a comedy writer...so I hope this too was a joke she wrote.

Jewel: Nice to see you back! And not selling out! Great dress, great look.

Padma Lakshmi: Congrats on your win but a shame on your dress! The neck is awful, that's all I can say.

and Last but not Least:

Betty WHITE: You go girl in that sexy ass two piece with the color fading! As long as she can still attend these things, I feel obligated to award her best dressed for the evening. ESPECIALLY if she dressed herself.

There were just SO many beautiful people out in LA tonight! I couldn't get through them all but at least the good outweighed the bad AND the ugly!

AMC is at it Again

I was lucky enough to catch a trailer for the new AMC Series, "The Walking Dead" this week. Besides Restaurant Week, AND Brendon coming off the block on Big Brother, this truly made my week. The show is based off a graphic novel of the same name and follows a young police officer who is shot and wakes up alone in a hospital after a large viral epidemic sweeps the world. This scene in the trailer made me initially hesitant because it rang so similar to one of the first scenes in "28 Days Later." But once the trailer really started to explain more about this character and this show, I could tell that it was in no way copying but paying homage to "28 Days Later" and any other zombie movie out there. Which is amazing. Why?

Because I

Love

Zombies.

Now generally I tend to enjoy zombies of the more frantic persuasion. I enjoy when they're just always hungry and always running and always spewing blood at the mouth. Frantic zombies call for frantic action. But there's no way you could have that "breed" of zombie continually throughout a series, that would be like Lost on crack, one season crammed into one episode. Too much brain nausea can cause people to lose interest in order to keep their heart rates at healthy numbers. So instead these zombies are slow moving, the kind from an old George Romero film, and look just as gross. As said in the trailer, "One of them is easy to bring down, but in a large group and their hungry?" I believe it starts to trail off there for dramatic tension which leads the viewer to believe that it won't end well if (well let's be honest, when) they're hungry.

The show also has a western feel to it with the southern twangs and the horse riding. That makes it seem more dangerous, like a southern boy eyein you down in a bar tippin off his hat. Yeah I didn't put any g's in, gotta get the feeeel.

It comes out on Halloween night, which just so happens to be on a Sunday, therefore giving many people (young people to say the least) the permission to stay in and watch. So my favorite holiday, my favorite type of menacing killing machines, and on my favorite channel! Considering Breaking Bad and Mad Men grace the pages of AMC's book of classic television, I am sure to be superbly satisfied and scared all at the same time. Bring it on zombies!!!

Thank you for reading. I am, the TV enforcer.

Big Brother Update: The NeanderTALL wins it all.

Brendon, who I believe is SO DAMN SEXY, is no longer my lustful eye candy. Even with Firecrotch gone, the Neanderthal's got baggage, and a bad poker face. But he still won HOH, which considering he's got the whole house against him, is pretty bad ass. I just wish he would stop yelling out to the ghost of Rachel, as if she could hear him from Sequester.

When we left the housemates on Thursday, I had no idea that Brendon could pull through. He seemed like he was going to wear himself quickly and I thought he would have no chance against the calmer Lane, or even Britney. But his determination shone like blood diamond and pulled it out leaving everyone in the dust, or mud in this case.

My favorite part of the whole show most certainly was watching Matt cringe with embarrassment as he watched Enzo battle places with KATHY. I absolutely love Enzo, and could possibly see him winning the whole thing. He is a complete floater, but in a way, does this purposely. By exerting force in the Brigade and allowing Matt to hold the leader title, he can make decisions that will effect him positively in the game without getting a lick of blood on his hands. He's also completely loyal, staying weary of relationships outside of the Brigade in fear it will make him vulnerable.

Lane and Ragan being on the block is a surprise. But in a way, I see where Brendon is coming from. When floaters, like last year's Jordan, win Big Brother, I am very upset. This is a competition and people shouldn't be deserving of a reward when all they do is sit in the shadows. Lane does just that with the Brigade, and doesn't ever make a stir in the house. Ragan does the same as well, his compassion being too much a of flaw in a game like this. It will be exciting tonight to see where things go with the POV competition AND it will be exciting to see if Matt uses his diamond veto.

Thank you for reading. I am, the TV Enforcer.

Big Brother Update: See Ya Later Firecrotch

Amazingly, ironically, and obviously, all my thoughts about Big Brother have been wrong. Except for Kristen's demise. But now we see yet ANOTHER (and probably the fiercest) female sent packing by the house of Big Brother. Rachel, aka Firecrotch, got a big bitch slap in the face called Karma and was evicted from the house last night, even in the wake of Brendon's lashing out (badly and awkwardly may I add) at the other house mates. Her crazy firecrotch behavior was too intimidating and obnoxious to keep her in the house. And Brendon's bad attitude seemed too systematic and antisocial. Even when Rachel attempted to be on her "best behavior" nothing could keep the house from making a unanimous vote to get her out.

But really, in my mind, all annoyingness and hair extensions aside, Rachel was a great player. There were just times she couldn't back it up. But with two HOH's and a lap dog boyfriend who won two POV's, it seemed as though she was on a roll. She never made REALLY horrible decisions, except for putting up Monet and Britney. Getting Monet out was totally fine, she sucked and I didn't really care, but putting up Britney was all Matt and Rachel just didn't make the alliance with Britney she should have.

I also am in pure shock, that no one.....and I mean NO ONE....still.has.any.

FUCKING IDEA

About the Brigade.

How is this possible??!? How is it possible that four men are reigning terror down upon the women (and King Kosher) of Big Brother and no one has noticed ANYTHING?!!?! When I looked at the Tweets people were suggesting to Ragan, the Saboteur, a consistent suggestion was to EXPOSE THE BRIGADE. Now if the Producers of Big Brother think that this would "ruin" the season because Ragan would be getting outside information, let's NOT forget that he IS the saboteur. Let's also not forget the airplane that pretty much ruined Eric's chances of surviving in the house as America's player in Season 8. Outside interference creates for drama and interesting plot developments, which now with Rachel gone, the house needs.

If the floaters (Ragan, Kathy, Britney-because she has no real alliances, and now Brendon) want to survive this game, they have to dismantle the Brigade. And their stupidity and naiveté as a whole certainly will not grant them any insight to Matt, Lane, Hayden, and Enzo's secret dealings. The only way that this can be done to truly save the season and create controversy, is if The Saboteur EXPOSES THEM according to the DESIRES OF AMERICA. If anything he'll get voted out but hopefully not next week when he wins 20,000. That seems like the only viable option to get them out, that and none of them winning HOH, which thankfully, won't be Matt OR Firecrotch AGAIN.

It seems like it's a speed and agility match though. Kathy definitely won't win(Although I am SO proud of Kathy standing up to Count Firecrotch, so refreshing to see, too bad she's still a floater). Ragan seemed enthusiastic, but a bit confused. Britney seems like she was going to get pretty winded about halfway through. Big lugs like Lane, Brendon, and Hayden could either be at a large advantage or a huge disadvantage. Brendon was flopping around like a fish on land, most likely he tired himself out and brought about his own demise. I didn't want to ruin my weekend, so I resisted checking the live feed.

My prediction will be that Hayden wins HOH puts Brendon and Kathy up on the Block and that Brendon will go home. If Brendon DOES win HOH, considering how COMPLETELY oblivious he is to the Brigade he'll probably put up Kathy and Britney. Time will tell, but hopefully the Brigade WILL FALL.

Thanks for reading. I am, the TV Enforcer.

Big Brother Update: I hate Jeggings

So I was half right about Nominations for eviction. It's Hayden and Kristen (aka Jeggings) getting squeezed out by the power couple (I will not refer to them as Brenchel). What was most exciting was the ultimate catfight pitting Firecrotch against Jeggings. Coming in at No. 2 would be Firecrotch and Britney's bubble bath of caddiness. And rounding out at No. 3 would be the green teams extra cuddly celebration during the luxury competition. Enzo is slowly becoming my favorite house mate.

I have stated before that I hate Rachel. Which is true, and only grows more everyday. I hated Evil Dick, however, and still desired his victory. The same feelings apply for the power couple. I sense Brendon's concerns however, with Firecrotch growing more and more into a menacing, power hungry uber-bitch. This worries Brendon in the case that the two of them will no longer be safe in the house after her raping and pillaging of house mate respect.

Kristen is NOT playing her game well. At all. In fact, she's pullin a Firecrotch on the crazy scale. Her eyes were like crystal meth fire when she said "I'm not going ANYWHERE" to Kathy. I was afraid. Jeggings is making bad moves acting like a scorned wife thanks to Andrew's last words. If you didn't think he was telling the truth, all you had to do was watch the secret showmance couple's uproarious reaction and know that he was right. Jeggings then goes on to get ALL UP IN firecrotch's face after the HOH competition that firecrotch JUST WON for the second time, and almost resembled Debbie on "True Blood" in that she's a werewolf high on Vampire Blood. My Big Brother viewing experience has granted me the insight into some general do's and don'ts for gameplay...eh..just some don'ts:

1. Don't attempt a secret showmance in bed when you know other people are in the room

2.Don't wear Jeggings

3. Don't scream at the HOH when you have JUST been made a target by outgoing house mates.

Pretty simple stuff. Apparently not according to Kristen.

Obviously the hope would be for either of them to win POV and get taken off the block. IF Kristen were to win POV which is doubtful because even though she's pretty adamant about not being a floater- she is because she never wins anything (The oh-so hilarious yet awkwardly promotional luxury competition is a great example), then the Brigade is REALLY in trouble. The smartest move in response for Rachel would be to then throw up Matt. This would truly affect the Brigade in two very different ways:

1. They would have to break up the group without revealing themselves

2. They would have to expose themselves

which in turn would then require them to make the decision:

Matt. Or Hayden.

If Enzo and Lane really think about it, both are expendable factions in that Matt made bad moves last week as HOH and Hayden is in a showmance with Jeggings McGee.

If Hayden wins, Matt can still get backdoored but either way, Kristen would most likely be going home. My ultimate hope is for Firecrotch to or Brendon to win POV, leave Kathy alone, and send Jeggings packing.

Ultimately, Rachel and Brendon are in serious trouble of getting targeted for the weeks to come so they've gotta make sure they dominate on all competitions. The Brigade also needs to rethink their strategy because they have been lead astray by both Matt and Hayden.

This is a pretty disjointed Blog entry. Even for me. But I'm on my second gigantic cup of tea, and I'm seeing stars.

Thanks for reading. I am, the TV enforcer.

Big Brother Update: I was Totally Wrong

Andrew Gordon, King Kosher, is out of the house, and Rachel, previously one of the biggest targets in the house, is Head of Household, AGAIN.

And I wasn't expecting any of this. When Brendon won POV, we all knew that he wouldn't even dare plan on using it to save Andrew (even though they were aligned together) because Matt would be quick to place either him or Rachel on the block. So by devising the plan that Andrew would openly say he would go after Rachel and Brendon, he assumed (as did I) that house-mates would feel drawn to him and his similar desires. They would feel protected, and feel stronger against the already powerful power couple.

Nope.

Instead he created stronger enemies within the ones he already had. Mainly Kristen. Going after Kristen was not smart for his OWN game play but certainly smart enough to make her a target.

AND THEN Eviction night comes and Andrew opens Pandora's box in his wake. His irrational speech to stay was more like tying a noose around the secret showmance between Hayden and Kristen, which unfortunately got him evicted, but also got the rest of the house-mates up in a twirl.

So did Andrew dig his own grave? Yes. Especially when Brendon gave his vote to Andrew; there was no turning back. He played a smart/dumb game throughout his entire time spent in the Big Brother house, his weird behavior backfiring on him more than not. BUT his cunning in discovering secret happenings has stirred the house to suspicion, ESPECIALLY now that Rachel is Head of Household.

Matt's reign as HOH probably went as poorly as anyone could have hoped. Put a pawn on the block hoping to backdoor the power couple
This in turn got the power couple winning POV against half the Brigade

Which in turn got the pawn sent home

If Rachel is smart, she'll smell the Brigade coming and put Matt and Hayden on the block. Either way it will split up the Brigade's allegiances AND if one wins POV then there goes Kristen. If not, it's still splitting up the Brigade and giving Rachel and Brendon a POTENTIAL safe haven for next week, depending on HOH.

And in case anyone was wondering, I do apologize for two Big Brother entries in a row.

Thanks for reading. I am, the TV enforcer.

The House of Bro

Season 12 is in full effect for Big Brother and the lying, cheating, and sabotaging is already underway. This season has a few new surprises in store for the housemates, one including the already defunct Saboteur. Annie, the first to be eliminated really didn't play her cards very well, and her sabotaging opportunities were cut short when the power couple Rachel and Brendon got POV and got Brendon off the block. Rachel won HOH immediately after and got the caddy girls of BB, Monet and Britney, on the block. Once Britney won POV Matt offered himself up as a pawn, but cried to Monet and Britney about feeling blindsided. This in turn brought Britney to Rachel who told Rachel that Matt was lying to her and Rachel called out Matt in front of the whole house, but somehow Monet still went home which was totally cool and now Matt is HOH and Cathy and Andrew are on the block.

Oh, and just because it's so fun to explain, I will get all your unknower's INTO the know on Big Brother lingo:

You've got housemates in a house completed cut off from the outside world for 3 months. They are followed by a plethora of robotic cameras setup throughout the house. They're first undertaking is the Head of Household competition, otherwise known as HOH. The HOH is the power player for the week, living in the lap of luxury, and holding the nominations for eviction in their sweet little hands. They take some time to make a decision on two people to put up on the block. These two people on the "block" have the opportunity to save themselves from eviction by winning the Power of Veto competition, or POV. If said winner of POV is on the block and they use it on themselves, it is now the HOH's responsibility to put another housemate on the block. These two housemates must then battle for the "affections" of the other housemates and when Eviction night comes on Thursday one housemate WILL have only a few moments to pack their ish and get the EFF out where they are then berated with questions by the ill suited Julie Chen-bot. After a certain amount, the remaining eliminatees are sent off to the sequester house where they wait in anticipiation to see the next victim of whoever reigns as HOH. This repeats until the end where said sequester house is responsible for voting who will win Big Brother and $500,000. Second place gets like 50,000 though, so it's all good.

Now that I've gotten the basics out of the way, here are my thoughts for this season.

If Andrew makes it past eviction this week, he should be a shoe in for HOH next week. His gameplay may be a little bit abstract, squealing with joy at Rachel's HOH win even more so than Rachel's in house boy toy Brendon. But he is a smart cookie, seeing right through people's lies and picking up on strange behavior. He was quick to assume that Rachel wanted him on the block once Britney won POV but was lucky enough to have Brendon on his side to keep him safe. His problems lie in that he has not truly aligned himself with a true and strong alliance hence being on the block this week.

While the cocktail waitress Rachel truly drives me crazy, I enjoy watching the showmance between her and Brendon blossom as well as their fight to keep each other in the house. Their main problem? They have come on too strong and are a powerful team, therefore make themselves easy and obvious targets.

The Brigade consists of Enzo, Lane, Matt, and Haiden. (who also pledges allegiance to Kristen) And with Matt as HOH for the week, they have the opportunity to truly ruin some people's chances at half a million dollars. Their true goal for the week is to have Cathy (who voted for Matt besides Britney) and Andrew (a general threat) on the block BUT hope that one of them wins POV so that Rachel/Brendon can be backdoored and then sent home. This is risky, but if any of the brigade are chosen to play in the POV competition and WIN, then Rachel and Brendon are in ALOT of trouble.

The Floaters: Ragan, Cathy, Kristen. Ragan has a friendship with Matt SOLELY emphasized by Matt's lie about his cancerous wife (his wife, in fact does not have any kind of life threatening disease). Good gameplay? Bad gameplay? He's already been called out once for lying, AND Andrew is suspicious of his wife's disease, got to wait it out and see.

Cathy has not really affiliated herself with anyone besides Britney and Monet. And now she's a target for Matt when she voted for him on eviction night against Monet.

Kristen has a secret showmance going on with Haiden (which Andrew is ALSO aware of) and may exert more power on Haiden as the day go by. Whether or not she will be made aware of his alliance in the Brigade, time will tell.

The best part about this show is the absolute simplicity of being stuck in a house for three months. From there, the development of human nature is really on display. That AND it's three times a week, streamed live online and airs uncensored at midnight on Showtime. I mean if you can't get enough of Big Brother after all that, then maybe it's time you sent in your own audition tape!

Thanks for reading. I am, the TV enforcer.

Mad for Mad Men

Season Four is upon us and the only thing I am more excited about is Elimination time on Big Brother 12. Mad Men, AMC's WASPier version of The Sopranos is BACK and ready for action. When we last left Don Draper and Co., they were fleeing the scene of Sterling Cooper, and forging their own way in a small hotel with Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. A year has passed and it seems as though everything is back to normal, but is it? The season premiere kicks off with Don sitting to lunch with a journalist from some advertising publication being quite coy. His nonchalance seems to be a turn off for the journalist, and the boys at the firm are a bit uneased by the interview's results. Could it be that he's got a lot on his mind? Could it be his stepford wife Betty living in his home with another man? Or is it Pete and Peggy's foolish escapades with hams? Maybe it's Roger's matchmaking pursuit to pair him with a Betty 2.0 with a bit more brains and class? Whichever the case, the show is back and has more smoking, drinking, misogyny, and backstabbing than ever.

It is now my time to urge you, please, watch this show. Because if you ever thought to yourself, "I would like to watch a show that is full of glamour, greed, and great writing," than I think I found it for you. If you have ever thought to yourself. "I'm in the mood for television that frighteningly narrates and mirrors the exploits and nuances of 1960s lifestyles and personas," FOUND IT! If you have ever wondered, "Where have all the classic male actors gone? The likes of Gregory Peck, Cary Grant, and James Dean?" I have two words: Jon. Hamm. If you think to yourself, "I want to watch a show that epitomizes the peak of fashion during the 20th century," BOOYAH.

Catch it on AMC. It's awesome

Thanks for reading, I am, the TV Enforcer.

It's Here, It's Here

No need for small talk. Let's get straight into HBO's True Blood, Season 3.

- Bill, missing in Mississippi

- Tara on a suicidal rage and vulnerable enough for her own fair share of fang banging

- Sam attempting to evade sexual fantasies of Bill while finding his roots

-Jason's new roommate Hoyt isn't helping with his guilt of killing Eggs

-Eric's delicious... delicious..body

- and on, and on, and on.

You can't get it all in there and we are only at episode 2. The amount of unknown that will soon develop throughout this season makes me excited. Sookie's more self righteous than ever, and Eric's charms have created a more enticing, more sexually driven, and just better Twilight-esque fandom split, pitting Team Bill Vs. Team Eric FINALLY.

While rumors were raised about the third season digressing from the book, unlike the first two seasons, it is already clear that they may be touching upon some original drama, which I generally hope for in adaptations.

The pulpiness of True Blood is evident even so early in, and the campy humor is elating. The introduction of new and vague characters will keep me on the edge of my seat for the rest of the season. Personally, I found the finale of season 2 to be a bit lackluster, yet stylistically typical. And I was satisfied. Because what makes their muted cliff hangers worth it, is the whirlwind of tie ins that the premieres successfully achieve.

There can't be much to say for True Blood yet, but I certainly can not wait to discuss. So it seems, I am confident I will be glued to the television with a thirst....True Blood

How to Make a Great Show in America

Cue Aloe Blacc "I need a Dollar." A classic yet funky sound with piano hits mixed in. Take a pile of pictures, and splice them into a fast paced intro for How to Make it In America, a great deviation from the overplayed Entourage. The show takes place in Manhattan in its most unpretentious form. Following the lives of two dudes who have a knack for creativity but a lack of follow through, How to Make it in America is the creation of a warm at home feeling, something most never feel for New York City. It also hits home in other aspects, such as the strive our younger generation has for success, but the motivation we sometimes tend to lack. I've been through the ringer for failed attempts at fame and fortune, and have landed myself on the opposite side of the spectrum. But what makes this show so great and appealing to me is Ben and Cam's can-do, gotta hustle attitude. Well, that and the awesome soundtrack of old school hip hop et. al.

Ben, the beautiful, chain smoking, Fashion school drop out is in cahoots with Cam, his street smart, fast talking best friend with the cutest abuela on this side of 126th Street. While Ben mourns the death of his 3 year relationship with Rachel, the hippie with a heart and an eye for interior design, Cam puts the pressure on for the two to start really making a name for themselves. That, and the urgency to pay back Cam's ex-con cousin Renee (played by the well cast and hilariously tubby Luis Guzman) on a little loan. With a little bit of financial support from their moneybags cohort Kappo (Eddie Kaye Thomas), the two not only pay Renee back but ask for more, in order to sustain a Denim line they decide to promote, called Crisp. Give or take a few setbacks, romantic interests, Pyscho skateboarders, swigs of Rasta Monsta, and some Grand Theft Auto, the show is a success in the youth making their way to the top slowly, surely, and without those damn Master's Degrees everyone thinks we need these days. It's a show about who you know, what you know, and the best way to hustle.

Kid Cudi's in it too, sometimes. Check it out.

Thanks for reading. I am, the TV Enforcer.

United States of Tara Season 2 Thoughts....So Far

Once you've gotten through the first season of United States of Tara starring Toni Collette, you feel confident in Diablo Cody's ability to create a series out of the quirkyness she has become famous for. But when you watch the first episode of season 2, you begin to worry. Raise your hand if you hate montages, because I surely do. To take almost half an episode to combine a laundry list of overly happy moments in the USOT household became almost a burden to watch. But with the suicide of their neighbor bringing curiosity to Tara, it enables the plot to move much more quickly in the second episode. After a severe incident in season 1's finale, Tara begins season 2 back on medication and "Alter-free" for 3 months. But once she enters the home of their deceased neighbor, something in her clicks back on, and Buck, the loud mouthed womanizer is back in action.

Season 2, take this in no offense to anyone, is much gayer than season 1. This is attributed by Tara and Max's newfound relationship with their "Gaybors" Ted and Hany as well as Marshall's inclusion at the "Gayble" at school. A very interesting conversation comes up between Marshall and his flamboyantly bitchy new friend Lionel. The contrast between Marshall's version of being gay is vastly different from Lionel's who strives to make the closedminded uncomfortable and marginalize the idea of what is gay. Marshall is the timid and closeted young boy, confused and quiet, and therefore possibly intimidated by this high schooler with the balls to stand out in the midst of jocks and bible belters. Marshall even tells him off in one scene that Lionel makes people not want to be gay. What is interesting here though is that Lionel didn't come back with a retort in the nature of "people don't want to be gay, they just are." His sassiness overrides logic here and leaves the viewer a bit on edge as to how this can turn out. By the end of the episode however, Marshall's making out with friend Courtney, therefore signifying that Cody may want to hold off on his gayformation. I've been using alot of Gay derivatives but hey, they make sense!

As the episode progresses, Tara's now freaking out, because she knows that the alters are back, even though she is back on medication. They even start coming to her from outside of her body, asking her to transform. Only 2 episodes in, Buck is the lone star attempting to break out, and he is successful in taking control, enter stage right Joey Lauren Adams...remember her? Ben Affleck's lesbian in Chasing Amy? She's baaaack!

From the season 2 preview, much has already happened, which makes me feel much better about how it could turn out. So I will keep you all posted, and until then


Thanks for listening, I am the TV Enforcer

Showtime: Lifetime with balls

Weeds, Nurse Jackie, United States of Tara, The Big C, The L Word. All Showtime shows focused around women, written by women, and usually watched by...women. Have we entered a rabbit hole that has put Lifetime and Oxygen on Acid? Or is the opportunity for good television that focuses on women only successful when you can say shit and fuck (maybe a sex scene or two)?


Now of course you may say, what about Showtime’s Dexter, the serial killer with a conscience? Dexter (If only I had started this blog a few months ago because I have TONS to say about that show, but it must wait...) seems to be the alpha male force surrounding Showtime. But with United States of Tara and Nurse Jackie back to back on Mondays and Laura Linney alongside Precious’ Gabourey Sidibe in The Big C coming out summertime with Weeds, it's hard to disagree that Showtime is taking a soft and smooth transition towards a more female focused channel. I know many men who enjoy USOT and Weeds but the influx of female to male character ratio is a bit curious.

Ever since Carrie & co. exited the scene several years ago, women have been waiting anxiously for some strong females to hold their own with the men who dominate the stronger shows of premium cable. Enter Mary Louise Parker, also known as Nancy Botwin, the drug toting soccer mom of Agrestic. Weeds was a haven for elitist suburban pot smokers around the globe, and the humor brought upon by goof offs Doug (Kevin Nealon) and Andy (Justin Kirk) along with the sarcastic and flawless bitchiness of Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) made the show a hit. The show now seems to have taken a much more far-fetched road of plot twists than most had ever expected or really hoped for, but it garnered an audience that basked in the glory of its female protagonist, flaws and all.

Season Two of United States of Tara has left me a wee bit worried for its return. But I suppose, again for you reality spawn, I shall summarize. Oscar winning writer Diablo Cody (Juno) takes on television with Toni Collette as her muse. Toni plays Tara, a seemingly loving (AND un-medicated) wife of two eccentric children, wife to the delicious Aidan from Sex and the City (or we can refer to him as the loving and accepting boyfriend from My Big Fat Greek Wedding), and home to three (four?) absurd and hilarious personalities. Buck, T, and Alice; these are the complete opposites on the triangular spectrum drawn up in the mind of Cody. The show also lends itself to some of the most diverse family interaction you could ever think up. There’s the crazy mom who sometimes dresses like her daughter…or a man; the possibly gay son Marshall who decides to follow a deliciously (and secretly) bi-curious evangelist; the multi-color haired daughter Kate on the cusp of skankdom and sarcasm simultaneously; and of course the mediator and most normal of them all, Max the dad. Hilarity ensues and when you throw in a couple more characters (Patton Oswald as the strange little friend and strange little romantic interest of Tara’s sister Charmaine; let’s not forget creepy Gene from the restaurant where Kate works) the show is balled up into one unforgettable season, full of twists, turns, and tit jobs. The season ends in a big cluster fucky mess, leaving you a little heartbroken and a little curious as to the beginning of what has now started just this week as the second season. One episode in, I can’t make judgments on the success or failure of Cody’s TV baby, but I do know that the first season is certainly worth a shot.

In conclusion, bravo Showtime! Thank you for taking a chance on a female dominant season of good television, I applaud your efforts and successes. But one word to Jenji Kohan (creator and writer of Weeds) please kill Esteban, this plot twist has ruined your show.

Thank you for reading. I am, the TV enforcer.

Welcome to the TV Enforcer!

Many of you may know me for my exploits in the fashion realm. While I may have digressed from my fashion queries, I believe I am being summoned by another calling. That voice seems to be coming from that little box in your living room (or the huge flat panel in your personal home theater). As a guardian angel of TV Land, I hope to incite a riotous mob that I can lure towards great television and away from the steaming pile of reality TV that is terrorizing our youth. With that, I shall begin with what may be seen as the greatest and most unheard of show on television right now: Breaking Bad.





Starring Malcolm In the Middle's Bryan Cranston, the show has come into its 3rd season. In case you live under a rock, or are waiting in deep anticipation of Flavor of Love 10, the premise of the show centers around Walter White (Cranston) an underpaid over experienced High School chemistry teacher with a lot on his plate. A young son with Cerebral Palsy, a middle aged wife with a baby on the way, and oh yeah, he's got Lung Cancer and a few months to live. So seemingly, living in the glorious state of New Mexico, the only option here is to find one of your deviant students from years past and team up to cook Crystal Meth in order to pay for towering medical bills. Interested yet? You should be.

Granted, most families don't see cooking and dealing Crystal Meth as a choice method of obtaining money, but then the show would be so obviously boring and depressing if it didn't. Unknown to his already suspicious wife Skylar (Anna Gunn), Walt travels into the vast Albuquerque desert with a motor home, some gas masks, and a lot of chemicals. Skylar's suspicions climb a Mt. Everest of "what could my husband be doing-s?" and the love they have suffers for it. Walt stands out in television as what I come to think of as one of the most complex characters in TV history. Sorry guys not Ice-T from Law and Order. While you can sit and watch, thinking to yourself "Walt what are you doing?!" Cranston creates this enigmatic and diverse character who has to ask the questions why and how. His somewhat evil demeanor makes us question his motives when really the only motive he has(no matter who dies, scores, or suffers) is to provide for his family after he is gone.

Walt throughout seasons 1 and 2 seems at his happiest when explaining the chemistry of creating this life ruining drug, and even creates the drug in its purest form to strangely keep his customers safer than they would normally be. His passion for cooking engulfs him and creates a dark alter ego which I would like to call "Drug Dealer Walt." This character I like much more than "Human Walt" because "Drug Dealer Walt" is unapologetic, curious, and brave. "Human Walt" is a lying, conniving father and husband who soon creates a domino effect of lies that touches upon an astounding number of people, more so than he had ever expected.

While Walt and his junkie partner Jesse (superbly played by Aaron Paul) risk life and limb (and a few morals as well) to earn enough money to pay off bills, debts, and creepy Mexican dealers, the show serves another purpose. A greater purpose that reflects many people today. The evil of the health care system. While we can kick and scream or jump for joy at the recent passage of the infamous Health care Reform Bill, this show truly gets to the nitty gritty of how families are torn apart by devilish insurance companies. Walt, a considerably healthy man, never picked up a cigarette in his life, and the company he keeps (his wife Skylar, son Walter Jr., Doctor sister in law Marie and DEA agent brother in law Hank..that's right DEA) seem estranged from the cancer stick as well. So his diagnosis is curious and heartbreaking to say the least. Walt is a caricature for the heartache of real families in this country, whose lives are turned upside down by such familiar and tragic news and the failure to come up with the money they so desperately need.

Now I could go into some absolutely absurd and ridiculous details, but then you wouldn't have a glimmer of suspicion as to why this show is so fantastic. So I leave you with this:

Heartache
Suspense
Humor
Terror

These are the words that surround Breaking Bad, a show like no other. Watch it, and become entranced in something that truly creates a menacing world where there are no more options.

Thank you for listening. I am, the TV enforcer.